IMPORTANT PERSON-CLOSE OR MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP
- Death, Suicide, Military losses
- Separation, Divorce, Estrangement, Desertion, Rejection, Abandonment
- Abortion, Stillbirth, Miscarriage
- Illness, Geographic moves
ASPECT OF SELF
- Self-respect, Integrity, Self-esteem, Self-worth
- Loss of identity
- Unexpressed love, Unlived moments, Wasted time, Denied capability
- Impossible expectations
- Loss of dreams, loss of lifestyle
- Loss of professional identity/job, loss of reputation, loss of independence
- Body image, health, accident, surgery, illness, loss of function/control
- Healthy parenting, affection, affirmation, unmet needs,
- Threat of loss (divorce, separation of parents), stable family life,
- Security and safety (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental)
- Siblings (gain or loss)
- Loss of younger self
- Healthy emotional/physical/mental/spiritual development
- Body changes: Childhood, adolescence, middle age, older age
- Midlife issues
- Transitions: Graduation, marriage, military service, childbearing, Parenting, empty nest, job changes, retirement, treatment.
- Money, property, house, car, sentimental objects, clothes, collections,
- Investments, inheritance.
RECOVERY FROM ADDICTIONS
- Drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sex, spending, exercise, etc.
A Model for Understanding Grief
- Denial – shock-disbelief (“must be a bad dream”)
- Grieving – release of emotions. Talk about it-tears-cursing
- Depression – sadness, moods-difficult to change-but can be changed
- Physical Symptoms – may be manifested
- Panic/Anxiety – feel like I’m losing my mind-disorientation – Valley of Death
- Guilt – Feeling of responsibility- If only… – Real Guilt-false guilt
- Anger/Mad – forsaken. Feeling – why me?
- Reisistance to Change
- Gradual Awareness of Hope – small glimmers
- Reaffirm – Life is good _____.
THE TEN STAGES OF GRIEF PROCESS (Granger Westberg)
In acute grief any significant loss (death of a loved one, amputation, retirement, leaving home, loss of face, etc…) triggers the process.
- Shock – temporary anesthesia, numbness, disbelief, denial, dosconnectedness, chaos.
- Emotions begin to surface and be released – tears, cursing, etc.
- Depression and loneliness (incubation) – sadness, moods – difficult to change – but can be changed.
- Physical symptoms – may be manifested (mind, body, spirit are inseparable –listen to them).
- Panic/Anxiety – feeling trapped by loss, loss of self, a piece of me is gone with the other person – feel like I’m losing my mind, disorientation, Valley of Death
- Guilt (It is both essential and potentially lethal). – feeling of responsibility – if only ___.; Real Guilt; False Guilt
- Anger, hostility, resentment, and cynicism – forsaken feeling – Why me?
- A return to the usual is difficult. By aware of the “American Way” of grief.
- Hope (Ahhh!). Some sense of meaning.
- Able to affirm reality
DIMENSIONS OF CHILDHOOD GRIEF (From The Grieving Child by Alan Wolfelt, 1996)
- Guilt/Self Blame
- Acting Out Behavior
- Explosive Emotions
- Big Man or Big Woman Syndrome
- Physiological Changes
- Lack of Feelings